Handling Relationship Problems - The Last Chance Saloon

There may be couples who aren’t able to make use of the various relationship advice methods, although they should be varied enough to have something for most people, if you can choose the right one to suit you.

What then if the relationship counseling techniques are all ultimately ineffective? Something I have found useful for couples who want to stay together, but are unable to change in order to improve the relationship, is the idea of being ‘good housemates’ and (if there are children) co-parents, without trying to have a close marital relationship.

There are some advantages to this arrangement over the otherwise inevitable separation or divorce. The advantage for the children is that they do not have to move or have alternating parental care, and they can retain their friends and outside interests. It is just about sustainable, and while there is life left in the relationship there is, in my opinion, still hope for it.

The couples who have adopted this policy for managing their relationship problems have usually had children of school age, and the unspoken agreement is usually that they will eventually divorce, perhaps when the children have left school. However, the difficulties of divorce make it in some ways better to remain good housemates rather than going down the road to divorce in the current situation.

It does not rule out the possibility of one or other of the partners developing outside relationships, and of course this will complicate the domestic arrangements if it becomes known. Even in this eventuality, it may be sensible to remain together for the benefit of the children, until the partners are both ready for their divorce.